i make stuff. i don't make it for money, or for posterity. i don't make it for others. not even my friends and family. i can't be coerced into making stuff. it just doesn't work out that way. and even if i agreed to be coerced into making stuff, the resulting stuff would be wretched. i learned that a long time ago. so now i only make stuff when stuff wants to be made. sometimes, things want to be made, but i don't have the time. but, eventually, the Stuff That Wants to Be Made forces adequate stuff-making time to be set-aside and the stuff gets its way.

Armageddon Housecat is made primarily of bone and metal. His skull is a bobcat skull. His eyes are glass taxidermy eyes intended for something probably related to the lemur. Clay reconstructs the optic nerve and eye facial muscles that hold in and move the eye. Two telescoping radio antennae project from the back of his skull and are mounted on pivot points for full half-circle adjustment. His spinal column is made of steel flex-conduit, intended to shield high-voltage wires. His rib cage is made of a coil of pure copper. In it is a red glass heart. His pelvis is cut from an aluminum shingle. HIs arms are made from the leg bones of a small domestic dog, with springs serving as the primary upper and lower arm muscles. His hands are rusted hooks. His arms are threaded onto tiny bolts and can spin all the way around. His elbows are fully articulated. His hind legs are also made of domestic dog long bones, but also have sharpened aluminum dowels attached to severely lengthen his legs. His feet are made of pneumatic compressed-air nozzles and half-inch drive straps. His big toes are razor-sharp stainless steel curved linoleum blades. His tail is an extension of his spine and ends in a 0.3 pound three-sided lead fishing weight. Running the length of his body and limbs is approximately 40 linear feet of multi-colored low-voltage wiring. Around his neck hangs a round aluminum tag that reads "FLUFFY".

Mounted inside his cranium are two red and two green LEDs. In his ribcage is one high-intensity wide-angle red LED, mounted behind his glass heart. There is a switch on his wooden base. Switch him on and his head and chest cavity glow eerily. Unfortunately, his lights don't photograph well. My attempt to capture his inner lights is below, along with more photos from assorted angles.

Critter enjoyed his first show a mere one hour after his birth, while his epoxy was still hardening. He won an award (of dubious merit) and sold for a pittance at two-hundred dollars. I always have a difficult time estimating the public value of the Stuff I make. I wasn't even sure if anyone else would even like him. He appeared to invoke one of two reactions:

1.) revulsion and alarm
2.) a deep and burning need to own him.

I was very happy with Critter (very rare) and am sad to see him go. He was purchased as a birthday present for someone in Tennessee.

An attempt to photograph his lights. This photo was taken head-on. The red lights at the top are emanating from behind his eyes. His cranial green lights, being mostly at the back of the skull, are barely visible. However, that little spot of green between his eyes is light coming through the thin bones of the nasal cavity. The red blotch at the bottom is the left half of his red glass heart.

A face only a mother could love. Like the probes in his nose? Yeah, he doesn't either.

Another shot from his left side.

A nice head-on shot with his dander (and his aerials) up. You can imagine him leaping onto your leg and hooking into your trousers with teeth and claws, growling like a chihuahua, can't you. Admit it.

Back to photo index page